A Public Service Announcement

August 16, 2010 § Leave a comment


The wretch-full silhouette of Lady Gaga inflicts a bodily-reaction similar to that of regurgitation, but even with that bodily reaction, there’s the benefit of relief after the contents of your dinner have been spewed… With Gaga the taste remains, permeates and then inevitably becomes another ‘avant-garde’ hit for the youngsters.

To fully understand the idiocy and derivative nature of Gaga, you merely need to have insight that enables you to peer past your own nose. The Lady Gaga outline has been a constant irritant throughout ‘Pop’ history; MadonnaKylieBritney… The list is eternal and forever existent. Her formulaic appeal is simple: outrage parents by immersing herself in faux-controversy (recall the rumours of her being the procurer of a penis?) make vague and pretentious statements to engage with all demographics (“You have to be unique, and different, and shine in your own way”) and make sure it is universally acknowledged exactly who your sponsors are (by unsubtly scattering them throughout your new ‘masterpiece’ of a video ‘Telephone’). Now, merely await the fall-out whilst allowing the mindless to hail you as their saviour and view your increased ‘credibility’ as an art-house phenomenon. Lady Gaga status achieved.

The reasoning for such vitriolic attacks upon Gaga, her troupe of fans and her ‘LATEST N GREATEST’ single Alejandro is due to the gall of her record company. The systematic intention to brandish and implement yet another mindless starlet upon the youth of today is irritating, BUT when it is lapped up without resistance or retaliation it becomes a horrifying portrayal of our lost generation reflected in Gaga’s oversized fucking glasses. In grander and more moralistic terms – she’s yet another manufactured pop star filling gullible teen-minds with the pretence that she IS art, once more adding to the evolution of banality within popular culture. Sadly the belief in Gaga being the Next-Coming seems to have been validated through her achievement of innumerable sales. However the only way to cope is to accredit this feat to a universal hormonal imbalance making it mandatory for teenagers to buy into the monstrous Gaga craze. Her method of deception lies within a world of menopausal Sex and the City watching journalists. These people crave any opportunity to be smothered, quite literally, in anything “fashionable” and therefore will hoist Gaga’s stock higher in supposed terms of credibility and, of course, sales.

Back to this particular production and ‘Alejandro’ is a typical Gaga single, her third from the multi-platinum selling album, The Fame Monster. The supposed interest lies within her ability to pull off a non-convincing Spanish accent ‘En su bolsillo’ evidently showing herself as the sophisticate that her fans have heavily invested into believing. Whilst granting her a new demographic to drain for resources, this single also enables her to parade her chillingly laughable high-school Spanish and immerse herself headlong in yet more notions of ‘culture’.

Lyrically, the song is largely non-existent. There is little if any coherence or structure, but undoubtedly this will be interpreted as intentional and ‘edgy’, and gives her slack-jawed fans less to think about, yet another bonus for any Gaga-diehard.

Seemingly the Lady had difficulty in rhyming the noun Alejandro and therefore had to invite another two male protagonists into the mix, (‘Roberto’ n ‘Fernando’) You’d have thought Gaga would’ve pounced upon the opportunity to fling a ménage a trios into her resume but no… Ahh New York gals ain’t wot they used to be!

The sentiment within the song is as confusing and as irritating as Gaga herself. She waggles a sense of ambiguity by doing nothing, whilst flinging forth illusions of grandeur and meaning that never come.

Although, Gaga would lead you to believe ‘Alejandro’ to be a controversial statement about sexual equality and a dismissal of religious convention (note the music video for Alejandro; Gaga consuming rosary beads) none of these convoluted claims spring true. It is merely yet another ploy to garner attention and gain more tabloid space. Feat achieved? Yeh unfortunately…

Gaga isn’t a person. She is a brand being peddled throughout the Western world. She is the new swine flu and needs to be culled


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